DOAB Week of March 5th, 2001

Linux is in trouble. Yes, I know, contrary to all of the popular attention it's getting, and all of the rest, Linux is in trouble. It's pretty clear, and obvious, if you take a few steps back.

Linux has momentum right now, but the bottom line is that it's got no legs yet. Linux has penetrated the tech user community, and on the one hand, that's just where you want to be. On the other, you need to be able to bring in the regular users, not just the highly technical types. It's very much like the Mercury-Gemini-Apollo space program was in the United States. We leapt ahead so quickly, and bypassed so many foundation-building steps, that we couldn't sustain the growth. Linux is approaching the same place.

The first symptom of the problem is the many, many distros of Linux out there. Joe Consumer, Medium-Smallish Business Owner, which is where the software market's sweet spot lies, is inundated with RedHat, Slackware, Debian, Corel, SUSE, Mickeyware, and about a hundred other variations on a theme. Joe looks at the shelf and says "gee, I dunno" then goes to grab the PC with the OS already installed. Yes, that OS adds quite a lot to the price of the computer, but it's a small percentage of a larger total. It's difficult to sell someone a replacement at additional cost for something they already have.

The second symptom is applications. "We don't need no stinkin' applications" might work well for UNIX programmers with PERL experience and a ton of time on their hands, but Joe C, as noted above, is merely looking for an edge. A tool that will allow his people to work smarter-faster-better than Frank D, Joe's chief competitor.

The third symptom is controversy. When Linux garners ink, invariably there's some wag quoted from one of the major software publishing companies who's name shall remain nameless, but the initials are Microsoft, and this tends to send the more Rabid Linuxen into foaming, frothing fits of "BUT IT'S CRAP" and even elephantine levels of sedation delivered from Marlin Perkins' original Tranquilizer Gun fail to lay them out for tagging. They've just got to calm down. While "It Ain't Microsoft" might sell some, it's going to scare off significantly more.

The fourth symptom is the lack of standardization. Certainly, there's Linus, who, in his spare time, cranks out Kernal updates. Joe C does not give a flying (pick something) here about who Linus is, why he's affectionate towards flightless waterfowl (admirable, given my previous nickname was associated with one of the more famous of that genus), or why the heck he's doing this. Joe wants the damned thing to work. When it doesn't, Joe wants to be able to call a half-dozen or more fellows he knows, has heard of, from, and trusts, and one of them will fix the problem.

Joe doesn't want to have to compile, recompile, resolve dependencies, and all of the other oddball things that are required. In fact, Joe looks at Linux, and doesn't see the money he'll save on licenses and software. Joe sees the cost of a full time Linuxen and the assorted debt load and cash-flow impact that a new hire of technological expertise brings in.

Joe looks at Microsoft, and sees a large initial investment. Also, plenty of "gee, I dunno"s coming. But he looks in the phone book, and for every one thousand "Microsoft Certified" listings he sees, one says "we speak Penguin".

The above are symptoms of the problem. The bottom line, and the key, central problem for Linux, is one of education. Linux has to educate EVERYONE. The public needs to learn about Linux in a positive light, and what it can and will do for them. The need to learn not the ugly warts of the systems, but how beautiful and powerful it can be, when it works.

The technologically savvy but as yet uninitiated people (such as myself) need a place to go for help. Not one that is populated by the types who will respond to a serious (albeit stupid, from their lofty perch) query with "ROFLMAO" ("Roll On Floor Laughing My Asterisk Off")-type behavior. Perhaps ettiquete lessons, and if that fails, well, we'll create a new Survivor series - where each contestant must, with their own, ungloved hands, open up a new computer shipped from the factory, set it up, get comfortable with Windows ME, and use it for a week without uttering one curse, no screaming fits against Microsoft or Bill Gates, and at the end, must right a glowing, positive review of the software AND the company. No, that show would never work - and the controversy over the high suicide rate amongst the contestants would make Fox's recent "Temptation Island" series look like "My Day At Daycare".

Most of all, Linux needs to produce classroom sessions where those who are comfortable can go to learn. They need to produce regular certifications so that those who need help can get someone who is certainly going to know what they need. For you see, time is money, on both sides of the equation - down time costs a heck of a lot - consultants are cheap, by comparison - but they cost. And the wrong, or stupid consultants cost huge amounts of both money and time. Neither of which Joe can afford, with Frank breathing down his neck.

Linux has a number of barriers of entry to it. None particularly high, and none insurmountable. But all, taken together, are succeeding in doing what Microsoft wants; they're holding Linux back from the mass market, and guaranteeing the ability for Microsoft to succeed with it's upcoming XPensive upgrade to the program that wasn't 2Klose to an upgrade to NotThereyet.

Linux needs 1) Standards, 2) Education, and 3) Better Manners. Joe wants to be able to contract with a consultant who is LC'd, rather than "yeah, I know it, I've been reading slashdot for about two years now".

Most of all, Linux needs a face to present to the world. A stable business-like face, and a stable, business-like manner. It's time to grow up and out of the "hobbyist" moniker. Many of us out here are waiting to get on the bus. We're just stuck in the middle of the road watching them whiz by, too fast to read the numbers. We want something stable, reliable, and most of all, something that's going to work. Not something that's going to require upgrades/updates weekly, or even quarterly. We just want the damned thing to work.

Well, a couple more quick shots around the horn today. Here in Minnesota, we lost a great man, and the wearer of the worst toupee I have ever seen. Harold Stassen passed away yesterday. You "young folks" might know him for the failures - nine tries for president, and nine times he struck out. The aforementioned toupee was quite honestly the most God-awful thing I've ever seen. The fellow would have been better off to wear a muskrat; especially since this thing was still bright red last year.

But aside from the failures, we should realize the successes. Harold Stassen was the youngest governor ever elected to the post in the United States, at the age of 31 in 1938. Apparently the governorship was a two-year term back then, because in his third term, in 1943, Stassen resigned as governor and joined the military. He stood on the deck of the Missouri as the Japanese signed their surrender. He next spent time in San Francisco, and became the youngest signatory to the article founding the United Nations, and later worked with Eisenhower. Stassen was Eisenhower's advisor on disarmament, but it was very clear that disarmament wasn't going to happen - instead Stassen worked for Arms Control, and, in some ways, succeeded.

Later in life, he denounced Richard Nixon and said he should be thrown off the ticket with Eisenhower. He was ignored, and it ended his career. However, if we had only listened to Stassen then, just think where this country would be now.

The other major news story of the day is yet another troubled child walking into a place of learning, and venting his frustrations with a load of ammunition on his classmates. Our governor would have you believe that posting armed guards would save the school. Unfortunately, what seems to work the best is what's always worked - get the kids to tell. In this case, it seems they heard, but didn't believe it.

Let's run through this one just one (billions) more time. If some nutball says "I'm gonna shoot..." at your school or place of business, take them seriously. In this day and age, only people with extremely poor taste would make a joke about it, and you'd best assume it's not a joke. If you're someone who can do something about it, then do something about it. Don't stand there with your fingers in your ears. It's not a safe world out there. Don't take chances. Please. We've all got parents, and none of them want to see us die through ignorance.

Good grief. What a lousy way to end a post. So I won't. I nearly pulled a "ROFLMAO" of my own this morning. Yes, I'm in mourning about Tom's loss of a hard drive, but good grief. You would think that a man as stubborn and as curious as Tom would realize that his children are going to go him one better. But geez - "Landon, show your sister how to open the door" and he does. Tom, I'd make sure all of your computers have keylocks to keep the cases on - then lose the damned keys, man... Otherwise you're going to wake up some morning and find the kid building you a home fiber-channel SAN with some monofilament line, leftover spare parts, and a few Hot Wheels cars. Gotta love it.

In his post of today, Bob Thompson makes a couple of pretty telling points in the whole kids/schools/guns/idiots debate.

Believe it or not, I almost agree with him 100%. But there's a spot that Bob missed in his point, which I'm going to hammer on. That's the one about the parents. It goes back to personal responsibility, and believe it or not, that includes parents - you brought the little wigglers into this world, home from the hospital, and brought them up. It's your responsibility to make sure that the little chimps aren't rabid, are trained not to soil the furniture, and do not attempt to kill us the first moment we say something they don't like.

Yes, most certainly, the school's administration is at fault. But let's again step just one step back and look at the situation. The school administrator at that high school likely reports to a district superintendent. That District Superintendent probably reports to a school board of sorts, which is elected by the community. Which is how we do it here.

And as we all know, a committee is the only life form with six or more legs, three or more stomachs, and no freaking brains. The committee will pander to the lowest common denominator because that's what committees do. They take calls from parents who are upset that little Timmy, with an IQ of 57, is being placed in an environment with other children of similar needs, so he can be taught in a method and at a speed which he can understand. Little Alfred's parents, meanwhile, are upset because Alf is being held back in his studies despite having an IQ greater than that of his teacher, principal, and District Superintendent COMBINED. But Alf is stuck in the same class with Timmy because Timmy's parents have "mainstreaming" on their side.

I am so sick and tired of people claiming "treat the children all the same" and all the other politically correct BS that goes on around our children. Yes, certainly, the job of a parent is to protect their children from things that child cannot yet deal with. Last night, we were watching a program on the history channel, which reminded us that it was ten years ago this week that Rodney King took one hell of a beating from the police officers in Los Angeles.

For those of you fortunate enough to have either short memories or live overseas, Mr. Rodney King, of African-American heritage, was apparently in a vehicle which was stopped by six policemen in Los Angeles. Mr. King reportedly resisted arrest, which begat him the most God-awful beating I've ever seen. The reason this caused a problem is because it was captured on videotape by a bystander.

The police were later acquitted of charges when they stood trial in Los Angeles County (which was the "Trial Of The Century" chapter seventy-three, if I remember correctly). After the acquittal the inhabitants of Los Angeles county were understandably upset with the results, and began what became the deadliest riots in United States history. The six officers were later tried on charges of depriving Mr. King of his civil rights, and as I recall, some, and perhaps all, of them were convicted.

So here's my seven-year-old daughter, seeing the videotape - whether out of context or not, I can't comment. But what I can tell you is that if you've never tried to explain the whole incident above in terms a seven-year-old can understand, without destroying her faith in the police, essential human goodness, and faith in the American Justice System and the trial-by-jury process, well, you just haven't faced tough questions yet. If there's a heaven, and I end up in front of God to answer for all that I've done, I can assure you that question won't be anywhere as difficult as "why are they doing that daddy?"

But I tried to explain it. And I guarantee you that I had, in fifteen minutes, more quality time interaction with my children than the parents of this young fellow who did the shooting did in the last month.

The responsibility for proper behavior and a working school system starts at our own front doors. We're the examples our children look to when situations like this arise. When things happen that, by all that is good, should not, our children look to us for answers. If we, in our haste to rush to judgement, scream, cry out, yell, and throw things, so will our children. If we pick up the phone and chew out the poor principal for our child not getting good enough grades, then what have we taught them?

Sorry, folks, while there's certainly still injustice in the world, it ain't ever gonna go away. Not in a million years. Someone, somewhere, some time, is always going to be getting screwed. And someone else is going to be getting a break they don't deserve. Get over it. It's not possible for everything to be 100% fair to everyone all the time. Just not possible at all.

My daughter goes to a school which costs me plenty. It's all out of pocket for me; even though I could send her, free, to a school just down the road aways, I don't. Instead she rides back and forth every day on a five mile one-way trip between Daycare and her school.

My daughter attends a private school where there are uniforms. She doesn't have to worry if she's got the "latest fashion" or the coolest clothes. They all wear pretty much the same things. There are other dress codes and policies. For example, no hair color that would not normally appear on a human. If you've got blonde hair and you want it black, fine, no problem. If you've got blonde hair and want it purple, forget it. Why? Them's the rules.

No screwing around in the halls. No misbehavior will be tolerated. And she expects to be backed up by the parents. And she is. I'm betting that the school administrator in California had more than a few problems with parents of the children in her school. Children need to learn that rules are rules and if you wish to break them, fine, THIS lists all of the consequences, so get used to them.

And until parents claim responsibility for their actions, and their children's actions, we've all got a long way to go. Kids will be kids. Kids should not have to deal with some of this crap until they're much, much older, however, and that's the problem we've got to deal with.

Now, I normally do not post mail that I receive here. However, this one was an absolute riot. I usually delete this stuff, but before doing so, I look for a key phrase to add to the kill file. And let's see if you can catch the part that had She Who Must Be Obeyed asking "just what the heck is so funny this time?"

From: bizhelppaladin@usa.net
Sent: Tuesday, March 06, 2001 3:59 AM
To: Undisclosed.Recipients@sesame.netsoft.net
Subject: Don't get trapped...

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with "remove" in the subject line.

And another day shot. Today, all the successes I had yesterday with that damned firewall went away. It's as if the firewall would let me do it, once, and then block further contact. And I haven't got those rules set up. It's extremely aggravating.

Anyway, tomorrow's definitely going to be fun. If you've got friends in the Nigerian government, have them gather round. We're going to have a wee party.

I used to report it to Spamcop, but that got old, and all it seemed to do was increase the amount of spam I was getting. So what I do is I use mail rules to filter the incoming crap on my main address, and use other sites (like Hotmail) for specific purposes. Such as the e-mail address for this site.

But when I received this one, I was very very irritated. These jerks were pulling yet another con game, and someone could get hosed up. Sure, I'd love a couple of million in cash, but come on, people - aside from the pure and simple fact that the WTO never held a conference in Dakar, Senegal; aside from the pure and simple fact that no one I know has been to Dakar for any sort of conference, and aside from the fact that I intensely dislike and distrust people who introduce themselves as "title" so-and-so in personal (or attempted personal) settings. So, I sent a copy of this to the Attorney General of the State of Minnesota, as well as sending a reply to this fellow. I took the time to make myself sound excited, confused, and interested. After a few days, I got a reply.

So, I replied to Old Freddie up there, asking why there was a change in what they'd asked for. And, conveniently enough, I also copied the fine folks at the A.G.'s office as well. I'm so nice.

And then, a very nice gentleman from the attorney general directed me to http://www.state.gov/www/regions/africa/naffpub.pdf - yes, I know it's a damned Adobe PDF, which sucks big muddy, slime-covered rocks when you're working via dialup and attempting to download multiple megs of crap, so I'll summarize briefly (yes, I used the word "briefly," I know - I'll pay for it).

The idea is for Freddie and Adamu to get your information not to screw you directly - they want to use it to make it look like they're doing legitimate business with other parties who are far more gullible. If you turn out to be that gullible, they suck you in and promise you "millions" as noted above, provided you assist with the financial "emergency" which arises just before delivery of the money. If you're a big enough sucker, they'll keep pulling you in and pulling you in - eventually, they get you to Nigeria and screw you some more.

Being a good internet citizen like I am, I fired off messages to abuse@usa.net and abuse@onebox.com. Being also a genuinely nice guy, I also copied the perpetrators on these messages. Seems I was a bit late for Adamu, as our engineering friend with the funny money he needs to clean has been shut down by the fine folks at USA.NET. Freddie, likewise, was toasted late today by the folks at onebox.com. Gotta love it.

A long, long time ago I learned that "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." When someone you've never met says "hey, buddy, a friend of yours in a place you'd never visit and neither would your friends who was there for a meeting that was never held told me about you and I need your help to wash a ton of money that's not valuable in my country, but will be valuable overseas" the best thing to do (after you stop laughing) is to report the creepy little swine.

Last note - while I'm sure there are a few of you saying "he's picking on them because they're probably black" I can honestly say I'm not. I'm picking on them because they're allegedly criminal scum. And if the scum part doesn't apply, please let me know, and we'll ship you some scum you can apply to yourselves, Freddie and Adamu. However much you might wish to believe that I did this for prejudice, check with She Who Must Be Obeyed. She will tell you that I suffer fools about as well as I do stomach ailments, and when faced with a windmill which will likely smack me back into last century (or further) I happily tilt away; sooner or later I'll be able to show some sort of good deed has come from it.

After all, if you're not willing to fight for truth, justice, and the intelligent way, whyinhell are you here?

And just to top it all off, today when I checked in at Macintouch just to see what was up in the Mac world, I found this little nugget - I'm not poking fun at the Mac folks; this could happen to anyone. So look out, huh?

And on the firewall front I finally figured out why I'm having problems with my firewall testing - my "server" just ain't fast enough. A Pentium 200 used to be a real rocket. Under NT 4.0 Server, it's definitely a dog when trying to run the firewall monitoring software, SQL Server, MTS, IIS, and all the other assorted pieces we need. Ugh.

And just to add insult to injury... Tonight when I got home, I got a notice from my high school. They're celebrating (inaccurately) the 20th anniversary of Rockin' Round The Clock. Back in 1977, I think, the kids in the band did a fundraiser where they played for 25 straight hours in the high school cafeteria. They collected pledges, and raised money for the school.

In 1979, we brought it back because we (the marching band, and yes, I was a drummer - bass drum that year) were going to Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, for the Edmonton Exposition. So we did it again. And again, in 1980, and in 1981. And let me tell you, if you've never sight-read music at a "concert" you've never really lived (or soiled yourself, frankly. It was the Orchestra's forty minute block and the orchestra director decided to hit a few songs that we'd never seen before. Thank God it was the "Theme from Star Wars" and I was on the Tympani)

But in 1982, my senior year, the director of development, a man named Michael Mullin, came into the band room, where he'd been maybe twice before that year, and said "hey, we're going to change your fundraiser." My objection at the time remains the same one I've got today. Back, twenty (gulp) years ago, the focus was on the student musicians. Today, it's on the headliners.

But that's not my favorite memory of the whole thing. The first couple of years, we had to do the staging in the North Gym - which was an adequate high-school gymnasium. However, if you've ever been fortunate enough to look seriously at a high school gym, you'll note with some surprise that they don't tend to have a lot of electrical wiring capacity. Originally we wired up the place running out of eight outlets. Imagine, your average rock and roll band running off one circuit, eight outlets. And yes, that includes the lights.

It took about 30 minutes for the breaker to pop out the first time. I was literally in a panic, and ran up to the maintenance room where the breakers were located to reset them. Oddly enough, the room was about 120 degrees. Funny how that should happen for a small room three stories above the floor where you've got about nine hundred people dancing. Fortunately for us, we had a roof hatch in the room, so I sent one of the other guys on the crew up the ladder to pop the hatch and cool the room down.

Yet another mental note for you. If you weigh something in the neighborhood of one hundred pounds, and are asked to open a three-by-three foot hatch (call it a meter square), and the outside temp is something like forty, and the inside temp is about eighty degrees higher, just don't do it. No, not at all.

As I recall, I was looking up the ladder for Kurt when I heard the quick Klunk-Klunk that indicated 1) the latch had been opened, and 2) the hinged hatch had been flipped flat onto the roof. Kurt, unfortunately, forgot to let go of the handle, and popped right out. I was watching as his legs literally shot straight up.

The next year when I came back as an advisor, I had them open the hatch early in the day. And run Heavy-duty extension cables into the locker rooms where we had things like whirlpools and all the rest, so there were some heavier circuits.

It was certainly a fun time (though I've got a few friends who are probably still shaking their heads when they think back to the dumb-ass things they did like jumping a big blue panel van full of staging over some train tracks, eh? You know who you are), both in the old "play 25 hours straight" version and the newer version. Though I'm almost certain that all of the staging and the wiring and the lighting and the sound are done now by professionals. In fact, I'll almost guarantee it.

You know, I should write in and see if I can get a set of comped tickets. Lord knows if I hadn't screwed up so badly on that first one, they wouldn't have moved from a capacity 1200 building to a capacity 30,000 building. Hehe.

But Little Richard. Wow. I worked with the Coasters, and that was cool. But Little Richard. In St. Cloud. I guarantee you that town's just not ready for him. At all. I wonder if he's going to sing the national anthem like in Mystery, Alaska. That would be rather funny.

Now, off to bed with me. I've got a busy day tomorrow. Hopefully, a successful one, as well.

Well, I knew it was going to happen... I'd heard eToys was going down the tubes (CTD - Circling The Drain - as Alwin Hawkins would call it), but I figured "nah, someone will pick these guys up. They're too good."

Nope. Surfed on over there yesterday to look for some toys for the kids (Christmas and Birthdays packed into one quarter of the year means you start shoping NOW), and got a list of things to check with She Who Must Be Obeyed. Popped over there today to see what was new, and nope. Nuffin. Not a thing. Dead as a doorknob. And yesterday they had everything up there

So, I thought to myself I would do a wee bit of upbeat reading and headed over to visit the Good Doctor. And, as is occasionally the case, the Doc was having a truly bad day. Now, the Doc can have a "typical" bad day and make you laugh, nod knowingly, and say "there but for the grace of God..."

And he has made the point solidly, without a whole lot of weeping, wailing, and whining (as I would have done).

A number of the daynoter sites have gone to, or are exploring, the subscription method. Now, if you'll permit me to revisit the issue a bit, let's look at some of the particular objections you might make to such a system.

1) When I subscribe to a magazine I get many columnists and more content!
A) Sure you do. You get 1000-5000 words, or more, written two to seven months earlier, dumbed down for the lowest common denominator, and separated by roughly 75% advertising and 25% content. Subscriptions to magazines are an easy analogy to make, but not accurate. While the focus of various daynoter sites tends to differ (as do we), it's pretty clear that there's a wealth of great, not just good, information. For example - Dr. Pournelle's likely seen a whole heck of a lot more about computers than I have to date, and while I have no doubt that in the end I'll beat him (unless he proves that he was the model for Lazaraus Long), it's great to be able to look at someone else and say "well, he did it THIS way" and go forth and break it in a whole NEW manner.

2) But they've never helped me!
A) Have you asked? Specifically, have you, politely and clearly stated

If you're the one sitting in the dark cursing away, who's fault is it if you cannot be bothered to get up off your lazy behind and flip the light switch (or, until recently in California, get matches and candles)? Sure ain't mine, I know where the light switch is.

3) You aren't delivering what I paid for!
A) What, specifically, have you paid for? Many of these fellows write from their experience. And let me tell you that their experience is guided by where the screams are. If people are screaming and howling for major technical support with Windows 3.11, I haven't heard it lately. These guys use leading edge, and sometimes BLEEDING edge stuff. And they do all these silly things so you don't have to. And they give you answers you can use.

It's pretty clear that what can start out as a hobby (running a web site) can become significantly more challenging and rewarding. My regular old home page would sit, unchanged, on my ISP for months at a time. That's because it was damned difficult to get through a complete and total revamp of my site - I like it to look consistent. I want it to look nice. Those two have left my hard drive with well over 200 megs of "well, that's about 80% done" crap - mind you, my personal site is limited to 5 megs.

But these guys have combined interest with knowledge and practical experience. And there are times when the ability to ask someone who's BTDTTDTS (Been There, Done That, Turned Down T-Shirt) is going to save you months of time. But hey, it's your life, not mine. If you enjoy pounding your head on the brick wall repeatedly, day after day, and losing, well, then, welcome to my world, sorry I've been drooling in your spot. Otherwise, subscribe to these guys. The "free ride" is over, the easy pickin's are gone, and the smart stuff is still here, but for a limited time only.

Not that that's going to convince any of you to sign up. And, for what it's worth, this site will be one of the very last daynoter sites to go subscription - were I providing significant technical content (which I want to get back to - the problem at the present is knowing which is covered by my NDA/Contract and which is not; better to keep one's mouth shut about the vagaries of working on some of this crap, than open one's mouth and prove everyone right. Let's just say that working a day job 125% in the microsoft world, and then coming home at night to a wanna-be linux/unix user (yes, that would be my home personality I keep in a jar next to the mayonaise in the fridge), you start looking for any sort of medication to make the pain go away. Next time I have to remove a munged-up active-X control that downloaded itself to my computer, I'm going to perform some form of amateur brain surgery on someone. Probably me), it would be easier. But I'm not, and I'm not going to set this site up for subscriptions/donations.

At this point this site costs me absolutely nothing, which was part of the exercise. I don't know that that will continue for very long - the folks at Spaceports are requiring certain click-thru rates on ad banners (again, please do not click on the banners unless you're specifically interested in the product or service they offer - I need to maintain a one in four HUNDRED click-thru for this site to remain free - last month I was almost one in two hundred, so nothing to worry about yet). But eventually I'm going to decide on a domain name and get off my butt and pay some real money to have this site professionally hosted.

Speaking of domain names... I noticed the other day that ICANN has, once again, succumbed to the typical megalomaniac tendencies that happen to all "governing bodies" over time. While the Good Doctor would argue the point, I'm sure I didn't get a letter from my parish priest indicating that God had, in fact, passed away, and left that bunch. in charge. And no, I don't think the Doc thinks they're God - I think he's arguing he should be - fine by me, I trust him more than the current apparently self-proclaimed front runner, who goes by the initials Bill Gates.

But this business of chopping off the .org names has got me scratching my head. When the original five were proposed (you do remember .gov and .mil, don't you?), there was no room for "Joe Blow's Personal Site" - .COM was commercial, .NET was SUPPOSED to be ISPs, and .ORG was the "catch-all" bundle for the rest of us.

To change the rules now is beyond idiotic. It's fairly close, in my book, to criminal. They are proposing STEALING names which people have worked hard to personalize, promote, and build traffic for. They're proposing that only non-profit organizations be given the domain ".ORG".

I've got a much better proposal. Let's step back a minute (here he goes, two major thoughts in one night - everybody duck, he's gonna blow), and take a look at some issues. For those of you unfamiliar with copyright and trademark law, don't come crying to me for legally expert opinions. However, I do know enough to know that there are certain classes or types of trademarks. For example, you can trademark a "ShinyWhite" service or process, while someone else can trademark "ShinyWhite" paint - two different things. You, as holder of the process tm, might wish to sue Biff, creator/inventor/manufacturer of the spiffy paint for attempting to cause confusion, but the courts would have to decide.

There are several different classes of trademark law. Let's back up and create a new TLD called .TDM - "TraDeMark". This is impossible to register anything into. However, there are subdomains underneath this, matched with the various classes of Trademark that are in use. Companies could register their .T42 domain (for Trademark Schedule 42, or whatever), and have the .COM domain redirect (or vice-versa). This would in turn provide a clear protection for the specific form of trademark the company had, and give protection, while at the same time leaving the lanes clear for someone else to go after a different class of the same thing - such as "Esquire").

So, if we create a new TDM domain, who would manage it? Simple - no one. It would be a function of the groups that register trademarks. If you apply for, and receive, a trademark, you automatically get a domain name in the proper sub-domain range. With me so far?

Now, what does all this have to do with .ORG? Simple - if the folks at ICANN would use their brains, they might see the obvious problems they would create by removing domains they just don't think should be there. Forming and assigning new TLDs is a more logical and equitable solution, as it allows Non-profit orgs to get those domains. The existing .ORG group? Well, if they'd ever get off their butts and approve the .pers or .hme or .whatever, then we could get somewhere.

Sheesh. Time for a tranquilizer. And oxygen, I think. I need to get some help with all of this, or I'm going to turn green, grow fur, and start living in trash cans. Call me Oscar... ;-)

But before I go (wouldn't it be nice, he pondered, if I developed a drinking problem? Too drunk to find the keyboard and I'd be much less long-winded - and coherent... well, maybe not on the latter - don't know that I could drop any further on the content-o-meter), we're having all sorts of fun locally as well. Our governor is calling our senior senator a failure because the federal government is funding only 12% of the special education costs when the government said "we'll cover up to 40%". Our Senior Senator has pointed out that it's kind of a "duh" to the governor with the Dub's tax cuts coming down and reducing the money to spend. Then, there's our old friend Dick Day, Senator from Owatonna (man, were I from Owatonna, I'd be running for state senate myself. Hell, I look better than that plastic-haired ... public servant). One of the worst stretches of road in the country is set for upgrade/repair/correction here - our 35W/Crosstown interchange. Sorry, I'm not supposed to use the term "Crosstown" - it's 62. Good grief. Anyway - they're going to do some serious work on this road, as it's needed it for about fifteen years. And they're looking to do it over the next four years at a present cost of about $135 million.

Dick, on the other hand (a truly satisfying name, and a very unfortunate sentence fragment, but I just couldn't resist), insists that the Minnesota DOT (which he oversees by virtue of having his... person in the chair of the ... committee chairman for the ... Transportation committee, he said, carefully placing periods where foot-stomping screaming tirades normally would go), not spend that money there, but instead sit on the stuff.

And he's also opposed to "sane lanes" (a sane lane over here is where you are expected to carry more than one person in your vehicle; some are built at great cost and with great difficulty, while others, such as the one I drive near daily, form the inner third land of a six-lane bi-directional freeway). Personally, I find it heartening to learn that the Senator is opposed to anything sane - I think it proves a long-held belief I've had about the fellow; but professionally, I'm going to lead with the opinion that it's the only way he could come up with to get his name and "sane" in the same sentence without those pesky little modifiers. Ahem.

And, on the work front, I found, much to my very great horror, that I could, in about five minutes, hack hell out of an IIS that I'd secured according to Microsoft's directions. Good heavens. At the time I was testing a few things without the firewall present, and was shocked to be able to surf in and load the file - then, with very little effort, I ... wait a minute - I'm not going to give this away until I get that server back behind the firewall where it goes tomorrow for more testing.

It's been a very scary day. That's all I'm going to say. Yikes, zowie, and "Mommy? Make it stop."

There are times when I think that a career as a professional drinker might well be a better choice - certainly far more stability in that line of work than this.

I've GOT to bring back those Friday Funnies... This has just been one butt-ugly week.

And then, when you've decided to go kick the cat and punch a wall, you get good news like this - gotta love it. Free at last, indeed.

Today is busy, with lots of stupid stuff to cover, but I wanted to get this off my chest first.

Dub, the head of Dub and the Scrubs, today created a three-person Presidential Emergency Board to prevent the local airline's mechanics from going on strike. Now, aside from the fact that I doubt whether Dub could spell "mechanics" and "Northwest", I think it's pretty clear who is in who's pocket on this one.

Back in the late 1980s, Northwest was very close to bankruptcy. Low ridership, competition, and half a hundred other reasons made it pretty obvious that they were, in a word, toast. But they got together with their unions and managed to get "give-backs" from all their unions which allowed them to keep flying, and flying high.

Last year, Northwest Pilots were out on strike for fourteen days. They'd seen their wages drop to well below industry averages, and had little choice but to strike. After two weeks, Northwest came across.

Meanwhile, the guys who fix the planes so they can fly were without a contract. Back in the mid 90s when Al Chechi and his friends were collecting multi-million dollar bonuses from the newly resurrected Northwest, the contracts were running out for the Mechanics. Back in 1997, they ran out.

The people who maintain the airplanes everyone flies on are unhappy, underpaid, and most definitely underappreciated. How would you feel to have given up the last thirteen years of decent wages and improvements in the standard of living you enjoy? While your bosses get checks big enough to buy small island nations? I'd be pissed.

But the mechanics did have one tool for getting Northwest's attention. They could strike. Or, they could try to until today. Then Dub, in his finite (very finite) wisdom, threw down the PEB declaration, and that was it. Northwest has another 60 days to string these guys along before they get serious.

I don't know about you, but I sure as hell wouldn't be flying the red-tails with the mechanics upset. Oh, I'm certain they're doing at least their best work, but I'm just not sure I'd be comfortable.

Other than that semi-profound thought, today has been one for the record books. My buddies Freddie and Adamu have picked up another, seems his name's Freddy Ahmed. You know, when one spanks adults for bad behavior, I'm beginning to get the feeling one should use an axe. A sharp axe. Or a small pocket-sized nuke. Or, in my case, a devastating combination of Bud Light and Picante sauce I haven't tried since the mid 1980s - at the EPA's request, mind you. But that's telling you a weee bit more than you wanted to know.

Certainly, I'm aware that when it comes to legalities, I've got holes big enough to drive large trucks through in the above. But then again, with these fellows, I'm pretty sure that "legalities" are something they're trying hard to avoid.

1) MARKETING
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.

2) SALES
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

3) TECHNOLOGY
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

4) ENGINEERING
One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that engineers place ninety percent of all Personal Ads. You can be happy with yourself; your office is full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel syndrome."

5) ACCOUNTING
The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.

6) HUMAN RESOURCES
Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a letter.

7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT
Catty, cutthroat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers" as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."

8) SENIOR MANAGEMENT
(See above - Same sign, different title)

9) CUSTOMER SERVICE
Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.

10) CONSULTANT
Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your "skills" are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other organization in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating these career opportunities without ever taking direct action.

11) RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER"
As a "person" that profits from the success of others, most people who actually work for a living disdain you. Paid on commission and susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock market.

12) PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO
You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to figure out complex systems such as the fax machine suggests the latter.

13) GOVERNMENT WORKER
Paid to take days off. Government workers are genius inventors, like the invention of new Holidays. They usually suffer from deep depression or anxiety and usually commit serious crimes while on the job...Thus the term "GO POSTAL"

BEAUTY
Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps

BLAZE
Distant siren screams
Dumb-ass Verne's been playing with
Gasoline again

ALONE
Seeking solitude
Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for
Restraining order

DRAMA
Set the VCR
Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
At 9 O'Clock

DEPRIVED
In WalMart toy aisle
Wailing boy wants wrasslin' doll
Mama whups his ass

REMORSE
A painful sadness
Can't fit big screen TV through
Double-wide's front door

A NEW MOON
Flashlights pierce darkness
No nightcrawlers to be found
Guess we'll gig some frogs

EXUBERANCE
Joyous, playful, bright
Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
Of old motor oil

NO SIGNAL
White noise, buzzing static
Call Earl; satellite dish needs
New descrambler

IMPOUNDED
Sixty-five dollars
And cyclone fence keeps me from
My El Camino

OPTIONS
Unemployment's out.
Hey, maybe I can get on
Disability

DESIRE
Damn, in that tube-top
You make me almost forget you
Are my cousin

OFFERINGS
Tonight we hunger
Grandma sent grocery money
To Jimmy Swaggert

GATHERING
In early morning mist
Mama searches Circle K for
Moon Pies and Red Man

PRIDE
Grinning, he displays
The nine hundred beer cans
Filling pickup bed

And a couple of follow-ups. This weekend I'm hoping to program the Furby to speak in a Damien-from-the-exorcist voice to tell the kids "clean your room." I can, of course, claim that it was all the Good Doctor's idea (which is why you should subscribe to the fellow - he might reprogram your furbies, and then there'd be hell to pay, with a high interest rate to boot).

The firewall, on the other hand, has been possessed by something straight out of the exorcist, and I've decided that Microsoft's "hardware recommendations" for each individual product are not being properly read, most of the time. For example, this link will tell you the minimum for running SQL Server 7.0. Then there are other pages which will tell you the amount of memory and processing power you need for NT 4.0 Server, as well as the option packs.

I used to think that you could assume that Microsoft would tell you "get THIS because you're going to need this as the minimum for running it AND our OS." I, along with most of the rest of the computer world, know that Microsoft's "recommended minimum" is "recommended minimum to get it on your hard drive so you can say it installed - try to run it on this configuration and we'll just laugh when you call in for tech support."

Product	Processor	Speed	RAM
SQL	Pentium	166	32
NT Server	486	33	16
IIS	Pentium	66	32
MTS	Pentium	66	32

TOTAL MINIMUM : Pentium II, 450 Mhz, 142 Megs RAM.
RECOMMENDED : Pentium III 500, 256 Meg RAM

Just add the total number of Pentiums it mentions, and divide by two, and round all fractions up. If the number is in excess of two, move up one processor family (ignoring the Pentium Pro), and do it again. Since the 486/33 was pretty wimpy, and IIS/MTS requirements came out of the Windows NT 4 option pack, which they both come in, I felt comfortable with the P2 part. But P3 would be a whole lot better.

And word today that next Saturday, aside from being both the day we celebrate my wife's birthday with a trip to my parents house, and a good excuse for a ... well, it's St. Patty's day, and I'll save my favorite leperchaun joke for then, but it's also "beef day". The day when I haul ass out to Cokato, or Dassel, or some charming little burg outside of the metro (yes, I do like to get out of the smog) and pick up one-fourth of a bovine. Most of it's been rendered into nearly-unrecognizable ground beef, on the theory that you can make just about anything monkeys - erm, kids - will eat with ground meat. Even the sirloins went into it. She Who Must Be Obeyed will be sad. Oh well.

And you can't just get this sort of thing at "Cows R Us" either. We're going direct to the farmer, and that way he's getting all $300+ we're paying (flat fee per pound). Long, long ago, before the internet economy disappeared (he said, looking for virtual tumbleweeds blowing past virtual storefronts), I'd thought of a direct-to-farmers internet link - I'd get a bunch of equipment together, link up with a bunch of butcher shop owners, who would know the farmers thereabouts, and get the farmers to work with me on the whole thing, and we'd sell meat and etc., over the internet. Sounded like a good idea at the time...

And with that mighty glop, I'm off to bed. I think. I've got a new Popular Mechanics which caught my eye in the checkout lanes the other night on privacy violations. JHR's been hollering for a while now, let's see how well the "professional" media pick up on it. I have a feeling they're going to miss wide, but we'll see. G'nite.

Sorry about yesterday. The brakes on my mental mouth broke, apparently. Jeez, I'm windy.

Actually, I've been feeling distinctly out of sorts lately, and I think I've finally managed to put my finger on it (or perhaps foot in it, but that's another matter).

I work in the software development department of a company that develops software that handles CRM - Customer Relationship Management. It's a pretty good product, and I'm not just saying that because I work there - all you need is a browser and you can access your database. What's that, you say? You're a salesman who travels? Well, pull up this little doohickey here, push that button before you leave the office for your trip, and there's everything you need. Get back, and push it again. If you're gone for a long trip, you can call in during the trip and synchronize over the phone.

It's a very neat, impressive product. We're using it internally for our help desk, many clients use it for sales departments (which is what it was designed for), but it can also be used to track all sorts of information along those lines.

There's only a few problems. In order to do all of this fancy stuff, we had to standardize. And yes, you guessed it. Microsoft, from nose to tail. Microsoft SQL Server, Message Transaction Server, Internet Information Server, ActiveX controls, Internet Explorer. One end to the other.

And back a few weeks ago we started the process of certifying our application on SQL 2000. We had the "Gold Code" release, so there were no changes between our version and the final produced one. I started out by testing in my area of specialty - replication. And found that, unlike what we were told at the outset ('no major changes, should be a piece of cake') turned into a process that would make the most hardened DBA burst into tears.

Like anyone who has worked with computers for some time, I've got experience with different operating systems. Everything from AS/400s to Macintoshes, UNIX, AIX, VMS, and of course, DOS and Windows. From life in general, I know it's rather dangerous to place all of your eggs in one basket.

But, here I am, eggs in the basket right in front of the Altar to Gates. And right behind me, like the big rolling rock in Raiders of the Lost Ark, is Windows XP.

Because I work with Microsoft stuff, I've subscribed to plenty of Windows mailing lists at work. Some of them are just a little too breathless in praise of Windows XP. Of course, they have to be - if they're going to succeed in pimping Windows-only content, Windows must continue.

However, there are plenty of people who's opinions I trust who insist Windows XP is crap. Who am I going to listen to? People who stand to profit if XP succeeds? Or people who have no financial stake in the success of XP, or Microsoft (admittedly, they might in Microsoft's failure, but that's a different issue)?

And that doesn't even touch on what might be the next trend in hardware - closed, proprietary systems. Back in the beginning, IBM begat the PC, and Microsoft begat DOS, and it was good. Then, other companies (such as DEC's Rainbow) made "near-clones" - they could run special versions of DOS, and some of the software. But not all of it. I remember telling my father to get a copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator 1.0 to use as a test for a computer. If flight sim worked, you were OK. A few years later, running a software store, we had another Microsoft product called "Learning DOS" which worked pretty much along the same lines. And at $30, it was a whole lot cheaper than a copy of, say, dBase IV.

But now, companies are pushing to get rid of "legacy" systems and ports. Closed, proprietary systems. And this time, the folks that forced the compatibility issues with the open systems are on the other side of the line, working to close off systems and flexibility.

I know very little about accounting, despite wanting, originally, to be an accounting major in college - in high school, Accounting I and II were straightforward, simple, and easy - number goes here, goes there, and it all balances. Seemed right up my alley. I love fiddling with numbers.

But then, they threw oddball rules in - such as double-dipstick depreciation, or something like that. And frankly, that got pretty weird after a while. There was a whole lot less about numbers. And, being interested in computers as well, it was painfully obvious to me at the time that all of that paper information could be automated in a much simpler fashion, with more benefit than keeping umpteen-eleven big, thick, paper books hanging around. Computerized, you could have multiple people accessing the information. A much better solution.

So accounting seemed to be a profession about to undergo a sea change, and the last thing you want to do is sign on as a coal-shoveler on the Titanic. I was not at all opposed to starting at the bottom of the profession, but starting at the bottom of a profession heading for a shakeout seemed to be a bit unwise.

But what I know about accounting and business is that if you tell them that they're going to have to pay, monthly, for stuff they used to purchase up-front and regard in some form as an asset, and put that stuff on equipment that will require 100% replacement when it fails, rather than fixing a few parts, well, I'm sure they'll look long and hard at it. If the big companies can say "hey, reduces your overall costs by cutting the amount of money you need to put into product support" well, then, those big companies are obviously liars.

You see, product support is never for the products in question. Not at all. "Product Support" is almost always "user support." You see, the hardware products, aside from failure, never ever do something they weren't told to do. Sometimes they're told to do something in a programming error. Sometimes it's "operator error", and sometimes it's a plain old "PEBCAK" - Problems Exist Between Chair And Keyboard. Or, as we used to call it, the "chair-keyboard interface". But there's a couple of problems with that. If you lay something out for someone, and they do what seems to be the pretty obvious thing to make it work, and it doesn't, well, that's a training issue. When you set the same product in front of a million different people, and three-fourths of them do the same "stupid" thing, then it's not stupid, it's poorly designed. That much is obvious.

And if it's poorly designed, it's not the fault of the poor folks doing "tech support" or anyone else. It goes right back to the specifications and designs the original makers came up with.

And Windows XP, combined with proprietary hardware, seems to be the big fork in the road. The one route leads to a closed, pay-per-month, unstable, but very pretty OS. No exposure to Klingon, as JHR calls it, no requirements to have large-brained techies wandering your halls with their endless appetite for new projects with new hardware and new gadgets which push the envelope and try, very hard, to get more of your limited budget dollars.

On the other fork is the open standards folks with the "information wants to be free" crowd. The lack of a corporate face driving and endorsing the success of Linux is what is going to drive it down.

Why do I say that? Simple - look at Apple. The computer company that quite honestly did begin the business "personal" computing revolution. People brought Apple IIe's into the office, and Apple soared. IBM came along and said "but we understand business" and drove Apple back. Apple retaliated with the Macintosh, and said "but we know how people work!" And IBM, and Microsoft, said "no you don't" and forced us into one way of working. Then they came back and said "Maybe there is something to that gooey stuff". And here we stand today.

Linux needs a Steve Jobs - a warm body, if you will, to get out there and say, loudly, "LOOK AT ME!" Connect him to a balance sheet that's successful, and you not only could have the next Microsoft, but also the cure for the current economic ills we're heading towards.

But that's not going to happen, for a couple of very good reasons. First off, having a figurehead means that one of the various proponents of Linux is going to ascend to primacy, and the bottom line is that there's only one fellow who can be leading the Linux revolution, and that's Linus. Anyone else who attempts to claw his way up there will be completely overshadowed by Linus - for it is Linus who leads Linux.

But you cannot lead from a part-time job. Which is one of the problem Linux has. The other major problem is that the Rabid Linuxen wouldn't stand for another Lord of the OS. One was enough. Especially one who has had it adjudicated that he's abused his power.

So the computing industry is at a crossroads, as am I. Tomorrow marks the beginning of the fourth month at my new employer, and while I enjoy the people and the work and the things that I get to work with, but the future is very murky, and I'm pretty sure no one knows exactly where it's going to go.

On a completely personal front, boy, those idiots at Popular Mechanics are just about as dumb as one can get - any more stupid and they'd put their own eyes out at mealtime.

I picked up their most recent issue because it had an article on "how the government invades your privacy" figuring these fellows would have some new sort of insight into what was going on. Boy, talk about late. Their two big leads were Eschelon and Tempest, both of which I'd heard of by 1997 (I think I'd heard of Tempest in 1995 or thereabouts).

I guess I wouldn't have been so hard on them had I not seen the little sidebar about the Craig supercomputer. Yup, Craig. I thought they made audio equipment. But there it was, that semi-circle, blue, and you could even see part of the nameplate. Funny, but the last three letters were clearly visible. "RAY".

No deep thoughts or anything like that. After yesterday's post, I had a mouse die (somehow, it was appropriate - the Microsoft mouse less than two years old, toast - figures. Just plain figures). Last night we ran over to visit some friends of ours - daughter in the same Brownie troop, son whom mine idolizes, and a couple of really nice people. We talked about camping this summer, and while some of you might not believe it, we've picked our dates : July 20, 21, 22.

	A new Buck Hill shot. You'll note the blue sky - this was about noon. By 6 pm this evening, we were completely clouded over. Figures.
	And yes, we have two cats. This one, who was originally named "Morticia" is now known as "Tish". We thought he was a girl. With all that fur, who knew?
	This one, on the other hand... Gilligan, otherwise known as "Jabba the Cat". And that's not a normal pose for him; sort of reminds one of a beached whale. Sad, isn't it? He needs help to get on his tummy. And this is after two years of weight-reducing cat food.
	So, we went to the Mall of America. They tore down a baseball park to build this place, but that's OK. The two red and yellow things? Lego Blocks. About half a ton each. No, don't want them. No place to put them.
	This is inside the mall. The actual building is nearly four stories above ground, and two below ground. The outside area around this is about a mile around on each level. About 45% of the upper level is occupied by a fourteen screen movie theater, a couple of restaurants (including Planet Hollywood and Hooters - never been to either one, my hand to God), and a couple of other places. The other three floors? Stores. You name it, they got it. I think that area below is a couple of acres, but I'm not sure exactly how many. There's a roller coaster, a flume, and a couple of other rides.
	Yes, in the distance, that's a ferris wheel. There's the kite-eating tree right in the foreground.
	And this is Legoland - about ten tables of Legos; play all you want. Great advertising.
	Just to give you an idea of how big this place is, this is from the third floor looking down.
	And this is the medium-middle distance.
	This is the medium long distance.
	And this is the long view. Same level. You can get a little bit of a feel for the size of the place. Did I mention that I'm nearly at the middle of one of the short sides of the mall? And this is looking back the way we came? Yeah, big. As I recall, it's one of the biggest malls in the world, and they're talking about doubling the size of this thing.
	And here's one of the Menards Indy cars. Odd Dominik Fact 43,331.5 - She Who Must Be Obeyed once worked for "Green Tree Financial" which was the company which backed the Menard's Credit Card, and was a major backer of one of these vehicles. And the other car crashed, killing the driver.
	And this is my son, climbing into the tire from the vehicle. Adventurous little chimp, ain't he?

That's about all there is to it today. We had beef ribs for dinner - picked up a rack of them last summer during the Farmer's Market, and we found a recipe on the internet - basically, broil for fifteen minutes per side, and then toss into crock pot with sauce and onion. Then we left for the day. Turned out pretty good, if you like that sort of thing.

Anywho, that's about all there was to today. Lazy, unproductive, and relaxing, mostly. Hope yours was the same.

The weekly Diary of a PC Geek